i haven't shown my face much around here because my life seems to have totally exploded lately. one of the symptoms of my chronic depression is the inability to deal with problems. i don't know how to see an out. so when a situation arises that i can't figure out, i go to ground. run. escape. and people just end up hating me, which adds to my depression, cause what's more horrible for a freaky depressed person than people hating you?!? and there are so many situations right now that are out of control in my life. forest fire size problems. and i don't know if trying to tread water right now is even worth it. i just want to sleep and never wake up. because i don't know how to fix any of it. and i don't think i can deal with the consequences.
i'm an artist trying to find her way in this world. i'm a writer, a visual artist, a jeweler. i'm an explorer and a survivor, a recovering addict and a seeker of beauty. i search for meaning and truth and joy always, in every little moment.