Saturday, January 26, 2013

into the abyss

it is very hard to resist being pulled down, down, down when all you hear around you is negative voices. i don't know how to have teflon skin. how does one just shake it off instead of internalizing it? because that's what i do; just add this horrible name my brother-in-law called me to the ever-growing vastness of my own self-hate.

it is *so* *hard* to stay positive in the face of the day-to-day. yes, i made a mistake. i said i was sorry. but it's not enough, is it? i'll just never be good enough.


  1. Praying for you!! You are good are made by God and he doesn't make mistakes. Hang in there friend!! Sometimes life isn't easy, but I do believe we grab it, learn from it, grow from it, and we are better because of it.

  2. Oh Beth, I am so sad to read this blog post of yours. You have to forgive yourself for these things, for it doesn't matter if other people do if you can't find it in yourself first. When people are rude and hurtful, it is so often about them, and not about us, although it doesn't feel that way. x x x

  3. I agree with what Rebecca said above, usually it's a reflection of what the other person is going through,...and we usually hurt the ones we care about the most because we know they will always be there,..or at least we hope they will. Sending out positive thoughts and vibes for you!!


i heart you back!