i stumble in the morning, trying
to find a way towards where i need
to go. i am so clumsy with myself
and with you, allowing things to seperate
us, an ice flow in the bering sea, you
on one berg and me on another. i get
so careless with my fears, allow them
to feed on me like carnivorous gnats.
i let life happen to me, tripping
blindly at each new catastrophe, powerless.
you float farther away. i feel so cold.
something holds me away from
myself. i think it is possibly
the fear of self-realization. if i were
to get too close, i would see how
meaningless this all is. i'm feeling
broken. i'm thinking, i don't know how to fix
me. i'm wondering if i can be saved.
too far gone, maybe, like soured milk or rotten
eggs. just throw me out, unused and wasted.